Aliens!

I'm not given to conspiracy theory. But I now have conclusive proof that the Cybermen have visited Earth and spent at least some time infiltrating the Parks and Open Spaces department at the London Borough of Redbridge.



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Not convinced? Here's a chap who'll persuade you with ease.

Now that's what I call marketing!

Describing Bushey House Beaumont Care Home, owners Barchester Care Homes says: Welcome to the relaxed and happy lifestyle of Bushey House Beaumont. We provide first-class nursing and residential care.

Describing Bushey House Beaumont Care Home, the Care Quality Commission says: People who are admitted to this home cannot be sure that they will be treated in a manner that recognised their needs or cared for in a manner that promotes the dignity of the resident.

And so it goes on. Barchester: We think you'll find we're ideally suited to meet your needs now and in the future to ensure you get the most from your retirement years. Care Quality Commission: We looked at the care plans of four people and found that two people had been admitted to the home suffering from dementia. The home did not have staff trained to meet the needs of people who have dementia.

Barchester: Our team of highly-qualified and attentive staff really focuses on the individual needs of our residents with a tailored care plan for each person. Care Quality Commission: Care plans did not contain sufficient information to enable staff to meet the needs of the residents. They did not offer any guidance to staff on how needs were to be met or care carried out. An example of this was transfer papers from the hospital stated that the person suffered from depression and had attempted suicide. This information was not transferred to their care plan which could mean that they were not protected from possible self harm.

The Care Quality Commission is to be commended for its investigation and clear reporting on care homes, but who's responsible for looking at the marketing of homes which have clearly failed in their duty of care to their residents? I doubt the CQC has any role in evaluating the marketing of the homes under its inspection regime, but I also doubt it falls to trading standards, either. Who knows? Then again, who cares? It's only old people. They don't vote much, you know.

Where was I?

Oh yes. I've been:

• Creeped out by the sight of uniformed soldiers collecting for the Poppy Appeal at Euston Station. Am I unpatriotic?
• Perturbed by Nick Griffin's apparently unexamined assertion that children should receive no sex education until they reach secondary school age
• Wearied by the prospect that Tony Blair is the best available British European
• Depressed by the Churches starting to tear each other apart, as well as themselves
• Getting the hang of Twitter, and slightly unnerved by the boundarilessness of it all

and

• entertained by NewsBiscuit.

That's kept me busy. More soon?